I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this, but we are surrounded by douchebags, dear reader. Who am I calling a douchebag? Everyone, ofcourse! Your dhobi, your doodhwala, your roommate, your dog, and even you! Me? I might be the biggest of them all for writing this.

But don’t worry, we all behave like douchebags sometimes. Nothing brings out the douchey side in all of us like some videogames. We scream gaalis at our friends and strangers through our mics every time they kill us in a game of Call of Duty and blame the lag every time we f*ck up, we kill all the pedestrians in GTA by driving on the footpath, or just shooting them all in the face.

For these and many other reasons, I want to take a moment and celebrate the games that make us all the act like the idiot children we all are on the inside.

Halo

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If players of this game are not too busy discussing the finer points and intricacies of what was an extremely innovative shooting game about two decades ago, they are busy waiting at spawn points to kill people with energy swords that make the game too easy for them and less fun for everyone else.

Rocket League

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Rocket League is game that’s simple in it’s mechanics and based on skill. Players taunted others of a lower skill level for messing up passes and saves. Rocket League players didn’t start out as douchebags, but as player skill level increases, douchebagness increases.

If you need a visual to help you understand this concept, please refer to the graph below:

Also, anyone who takes a game about cars playing football that seriously needs to rethink their life.

Dark Souls

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Playing this series does not make you a douchebag. No, Dark Souls brings out a special douchebag nature, it comes from the high level of difficulty of the series, and the false sense of their superiority that comes to players who master it. There was a meme on message boards for the game in which new players would ask genuine questions and seasoned players of the game would simply respond “git gud.” Another example of the relationship between player skill and douchey-ness.

What a bunch of a-holes.

Pokemon GO

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Not only were the players too distracted with their faces glued to the game on the phone, walking off cliffs and stuff douchebags, but also the people who took advantage of their distraction to steal their sh*t. Such douchebags.

Call of Duty

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This game’s online multiplayer is home to some of the most rude and abusive people you could have ever have the misfortune of finding on the internet. Yes, the internet, home of the Youtube comments section.

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You can play and enjoy any game that you want. That is your right as a gamer and a consumer. But yelling and cursing at people who are just trying to enjoy a game online makes you a douchebag of the highest order. Screaming at the kids who likely play these games online does not make you a better player of these mediocre shooters, or a better person.

Akhil was raised by movies, television, and the internet. A never-ending source of absolutely useless information. He would tell you more, but he was distracted by something shiny

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