More than 80% of Indian kids live with their parents until the age of 25 years. Unlike the western culture, we find it too difficult to tell our kids to get out of the house at the age of 14-16 yrs. If the kid is sent to hostel, moms will cry their heart out in the absence of her child. As they grow, “log kya kahengay” becomes the deciding factor for major decisions. Outrightly whatever the child does he is judged, first by the parents and then by the society (that also includes the mama’s, masi’s, bua’s, pammi auntys of the world, sharmaji’s, etc.)
So since the time kids gets some idea about what trap he is going to fall into it’s already too late. Day in and out he is reminded of parampara, pratishtha and anushasan! Ideally we can’t even blame the parents as they themselves undergo lot of pressure from the society and samaaj et all. The ultimate result is that it becomes a family tradition and it’s passed on from generation to generation. Whether you are 80’s or 90’s or 2000’s kid, you all must have heard these dialogues from your parents.
“Tumne aaj tak kiya hi kya hai?”
No matter what you do, it is never enough. This is the dilemma of every Indian kid. (not that they are super efficient- we do have basic skills like getting dhaniya and saving 2 rupees by bargaining but this is just a secondary skill, hence can’t be considered)
This is followed by direct comparison..
“Sharmaji (it can be any uncle, but since sharma is so common we all can relate) ke bete ne xyz kiya!”
According to Indian parents psychology a direct comparison is perfect way to hit the ego and get the desired output. What people fail to understand is that such comparisons can actually demotivate the children and make them feel like failure which is not good for progress.
Well, if the direct comparison does not work, we raise the bar higher.
“When I was your age….”
“Jab may teri umar ka tha, itni saari facility mere baap ne nahi di thi! Jutte ghiss jaate the hamare!!”
Indian parents love to portray themselves as super hero’s. Though we appreciate the efforts and struggle they have done, they forget ki “woh bhi kabhi bacche the” and things change with time.
Indian parents love their kids taking responsibility. Whether it is about going to buy dhaniya or impressing pammi aunty. They feel that kids cannot ever understand what situation they are in.
The most universal line that then follows is..
“Jab tumhare bacche honge tab tum samjhoge, maa / baap ka dard kya hota hai”
The point is we don’t even know when are we going to get married least of all have kids. Most of us are still struggling with steady incomes, unstable relationships, unsuccessful careers and what not. Having kids is the last thing on our minds, wish our parents knew that 😛
We all have basic (luxurious) necessities. Though we expect getting pocket money from our parents, along with cash we also get this..
“Paisa Paid (tree) pe nahi ugte”
Ok so we have no value or respect for emotions, morals, love and of course money! Our parents feel that we assume money plant actually bears money as in you can pluck in 500s and various other gandhi bapus from each stem and just roll over it!!
This line is also accompanied with
“tum kitna kharcha karte ho?”
No matter how much you are earning, according to Indian parents you aren’t saving enough 😛 Why do you spend so much on gadgets, clothes, shoes, food, friends, bags, travelling, books, etc. They love to emphasize on the savings part which will help on a rainy day.
Since we have spoken about gadget, mobile phone is dushman of every Indian parent. According to them anything that goes wrong in your life, your neighbor’s life, in country or any natural disaster even, it’s all because “tu 24 ghante mobile pe laga rehta hai!!”
They even share the whatsapp forwards which talk about alien rays from the mobile are harming your eyes, life, health and wealth. (Point to note here is that they themselves are super active on whatsapp 😛 )
With gadgets there comes one more line.. “Kiska phone tha?”
No matter whom you are talking to, they want to know everything. They might not have even heard your friends or colleagues name, but according to Indian law it is basic right of a parent to know everything and ask questions (answers are expected immediately 😛 any delay in doing so leads to n number of questions and suspicions followed by random taunts and remarks for the next 15 days).
You may ask the basic right of children? There is no basic right rather we must say basic duty of children is to answer all the questions asked honestly. Any cheating or plotting whatsoever will be caught immediately after all, “humne tumko paida kiya hai, so don’t fool us”
“Bas do saal aur padhle fir hamesha ka aaram”
With these lines, Indian parents should have added T&C’s (*) because bhai koi kuch bhi kehle, duniya toh tumhari lete rahegi! There is never going to be an end for this melodrama aur learning. What they seem to forget is that life itself is a learning process. You never stop learning!
Now that the padhai is over and assuming you have a job and have turned 21/22/23/24, the next big question is…
Kab karoge shaadi??
This million dollar question has ruined people’s lives. We all know that shaadi is that laddoo, jo khaye woh pachtaye aur jo na khaye woh bhi pachtaye! But bro, surrendering yourself to this everyday nawtanki is just not the right way out. On should get married when he/she is ready. Not when you are earning 5 figure salary or have turned 21..22..23..24..
If you are aadarshwadi balak and have followed parampara, pratishtha and aanushasan very seriously, then no brownie points for guessing your next line..
“Kab bacha karoge??”
Now that you are married you next responsibility is to have kids. Kids which your parents can play with, pamper and spoil them, give them all their unconditional love because bhai kal kisne dekha. They want to see their grandchild with their own eyes before they close their eyes forever. After all we Indians know everything about the future and can predict life and death as per our convenience.
And God forbid if something goes wrong with your life then..
“Maine kaha tha” .. “Tumhara kuch nahi hone wala” 😛
Since they are the oracles of modern times, they know everything and you better listen to them! If you don’t and continue to be naughty, you will suffer and pay for your deeds especially in next birth by being born as a dog, cat or even mouse (depends on the intensity of your sins) 😀
But all things said and done, we must agree that Indian parents are the most loving, funny and creative people. We may make fun of their dialogues but we also love them truly. Maybe that is why we actually pass on these lines from generation to generation be it any language or caste you may belong to. In this case, we stand absolutely united!
If you have any more such dialogues which you have been listening since time immortal, share it with us in comments below. If not, go and do give a big hug to your parents for being the superheroes that they are!