Most of us fall prey to the rumours and hearsay when it comes to historical personalities; even the contemporary folks are not immune to that. Since the lie often travels faster than facts, the issues usually go out of hand even before we completely understand what exactly has happened.

Quite a while ago, Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor landed themselves in a soup after they named their son “Taimur”. As we all have been told in the history books that Taimur was a lame Turk invader who pillaged through India and massacred people at will. But if only the so called patriots would have studied history, they would have known how docile Taimur was as a person.

Taimur Ali Khan
Source: Times Of India

Taimur was an avid reader since childhood. He loved reading so much that he would get a dozen books issued from the school library and finish them off overnight. The entire town was astonished at his rapid pace of reading, some were amazed while a few even committed suicide out of envy. He had been reading pearls of wisdom from the best sellers like Debonair and Chastity while he was a kid, but as he got past his puberty he realised he needs to focus on science and technology so he moved to peer reviewed science journals like Asterix and Tintin.

Taimur cleared his higher secondary education from ICSE Board where he was asked a very difficult question, “What is the difference between a man and a woman?” To this he responded beautifully by writing “A man is Karl Marx and a woman is Sonia Gandhi”. Such was the beaming intelligence behind the answer that a political scientist, Prakash Karat, presiding over the board gave Taimur 150 out of 100 and renamed the ICSE board as Taimur board. Later in life, Taimur finished his graduation and post graduation from the pearly gates of JNU where he did a research on “How to rip open the arteries of goats and lambs?” This beautifully penned research journal received a worldwide praise in the Disney land of Jamia Milia Islamia. His research has been a milestone in the history of mankind, and to reach the level of his intelligence the dwarfs like Srinivas Ramanujam and Erwin Schrodinger need to get a reality check.

After achieving such levels of fame, the Championesque Taimur decided to venture into politics and he conveyed his desires to the same man who gave him the honour of renaming ICSE after him. However, the political orphan of Joseph Stalin and the leader of Communist Party of India, Prakash Karat refused to give him a chance citing that since he isn’t either Bengali or Malayali Brahmin there is absolutely no space in the communist leadership for him but he can always be a part of the hit squad for political murders if he wants to. Visibly disappointed at that betrayal, Taimur turned to another big door of the beacon of truth, the Harish Chandra of 21st Century, the knight in the shining armour, Shri Shri 1008 Arvind Kejriwal but AK Sir started giving him dates after dates but never inducted him the political party due to his own busy schedule at Punjab elections. Another reason for his non-inclusion was Ankit Lal, the social media manager of Aam Aadmi Party was insecured of his place and spread the rumour that Dr. Kumar Vishwas has illegitimate relations with Taimur. Upset at not getting the honesty certificate from the esteemed AK Sir, he was further dejected.

Arvind Kejriwal and Kumar Vishwas
Source: The Financial Express

After facing disappointments from all corners, Taimur was still hopeful of a turnaround. Therefore, he approached the Ghaziabad office of Senator Bernie Sanders and was later found shouting slogans like “Donald Trump, You suck” at DLF Select City Walk Mall at South Delhi. The tragedy didn’t leave him there, soon Bernie Sanders was found giving democratic blow jobs to the Democrat leader Senator Hillary Clinton and opted out of race. That was the last nail in the coffin of Taimur’s tolerance and hurt his pure and soft heart real bad. He no longer believed in humanity and this deep scar gave birth to the feelings of frustration and vengeance. With the fire in his belly seeking revenge, Taimur came to Delhi and cleaned up half a million AAPtards and NSUI activists. He very next day people saw a steep fall of around 4-6 lakhs twitter followers of Arvind Kejriwal and Rahul Gandhi. After this episode, Sanghis declared Taimur as the enemy of constitution. Now that Sanghis were against Taimur, Communists saw the opportunity and declared him as “Gandhian with Sword” and awarded him with a disclaimer that the awards needs to be returned every 3 months under the Rajiv Gandhi Award Wapasi Yojana. Taimur was so excited at all the heroism he was showered with that he made an ill-informed decision to venture into the badlands of UP politics. He went to Lucknow with much fanfare but was shot dead the next day by the social justice warriors of Samajwadi Party at the behest of Azam Khan because his buffalo asked him to do so.

This was the whole political struggle of the greatest liberal of all times, Taimur Lame. Now it is upto you to tell us what was wrong with his lifestyle and life which was spent in researches and the service to humanity. What did he get in return? The infantile fan girl praises from Sagarika Ghosh (after she is down with 5 pegs of Smirnoff)?? Is it at all fair that Taimur is being abused even by the right wing fundamentalists who are kicked out of every civilized discotheque for shouting Bharat Mata Ki Jai right after Tupac is played?

Please ask yourselves this question and respond from the trenches of your hearts whether or not you agree that Taimur the Lame errr Liberal was a victim of debauchery and was indeed the greatest of the liberals the Turkic world has ever produced.