This story could be another challenge to feed the internet’s love for watching stupid people who do stupid sh*t. The Condom Snorting and Tide Pod Challenges were tough to follow, but this one really has the potential for greatness.
I’m talking about the Volcanic Marshmallow Challenge.
The U.S. Geological Survey took a break from serious updates about Hawaii’s Kilauea volcanic eruption to confirm that you should not roast marshmallows over the scorching hot volcanic vents. This should be obvious, but people are very stupid.
Here’s what an erupting f*cking volcano looks like:
Still sound like a good idea?
The USGS responded to one twitter user who asked, “Is it safe to roast marshmallows over volcanic vents? Assuming you had a long enough stick, that is? Or would the resulting marshmallows be poisonous?”
“Erm,” the USGS replied:
“We’re going to have to say no, that’s not safe. (Please don’t try!)”
Not only would it be unsafe, but the marshmallows would simply taste bad. The vent could be releasing sulfur dioxide or hydrogen sulfide — which both emit not-so-pleasant smells, like rotten eggs — and the sulfuric acid volcanic smog, could create a “pretty spectacular reaction,” the USGS said.
Erm…we're going to have to say no, that's not safe. (Please don't try!) If the vent is emitting a lot of SO2 or H2S, they would taste BAD. And if you add sulfuric acid (in vog, for example) to sugar, you get a pretty spectacular reaction.
— USGS Volcanoes🌋 (@USGSVolcanoes) May 29, 2018
The USGS has issued a number of warnings in the weeks since the Kilauea Volcano erupted in Hawaii, causing many residents in the nearby estates and gardens to evacuate as more fissures opened and the lava flow slowly moved, eventually hitting the ocean. The USGS has issued a warning for the volcano — the highest alert-level possible that means a “hazardous eruption is imminent, underway or suspected,” according to the USGS website. The agency had also issued a red-level aviation code, which warns an violent eruption is likely to happen if it isn’t already happening.
Basically, if you don’t want to become a human tandoori, your focus should be on getting the f*ck out of there, not on marshmallow parties.