All of us as kids have listened to the line “Hume tumhare jitna aalas karneka kabhi mauka nahi milta tha” or thousands of life lessons starting with the all-time favorite “hamare zamaane mein…” The thing is, as ever ridiculous or boring it might seem to us, it is true. The dynamics of parenting have been changing ever since Adam and Eve had grand-kids. Although the change was a bit too drastic with us because of the advancements in our direct surroundings
Recognizing why we are so different:
We are the generation that saw telephones come in, wireless tech take over, and eventually contain half our world in a couple of TBs. We’re the generation that has seen movies with 20 other children because moholle mein ek hi TV tha and we’re the same generation that has projector systems for TV screens and XBox’s connected to them. What we sometimes don’t realize is that with all the changes that have happened, they have changed the whole world in almost all aspects. Especially the parenting dynamics
Recognizing why our parents are the way they are:
Our parents might often tell us that they never back answered to their parents and that we’re being rebellious by doing so. Even though that sounds like a prequel to “We used to walk 70 miles, swim through a river and climb a mountain to go to school story”, it is true. Here, the difference in behavior is because of the access that we have to information through the internet. We are curious as a species. Our brains are hardwired to be so. When you combine this with the unprecedented access we have to information through the internet, there is an obvious increase in the ‘WH’ questions. What did ya think was gonna happen?
Recognizing why the difference in opinion exists:
Our parental generation was maybe (definitely) of a different thought because all the knowledge they got was from the most reliable source ever. i.e. their elders and books. Which is a kind of small source of information compared to what we’ve got. Also, as we now have access to different cultures as well, we recognize what we like better and adapt to it (or rip it off) ASAP. The previous generations didn’t. So, when we perceive something as “okay”, it might be absolutely ridiculous to them. But that is just because they have never experienced that! You were freaked out when you found out people eat scorpions. That is also because you hadn’t experienced it!
Recognizing why we do, what we do:
Of course, this gap needs to be filled and it won’t be wrong to say it is slowly and steadily being filled. With many of our acquaintances having ‘cool’ parents or because we, as children, feel that children deserve more freedom than we have, we strive to be the open-minded, advanced parents. Not saying that our parents aren’t good enough. But there is still a huge difference in opinion in two generations of the same house. But if the elders are orthodox or ‘old-fashioned’ as most parents like to put it, it might be troublesome for everyone around them and obviously, mostly for the child.
Recognizing the effort put in by the other party:
So, the solution to this gap, void, black hole, difference in opinion, sadme ki dukaan, atyachaar, whatever you want to name it, is adapting to the new concepts and ideas that keep popping up every day. Most of our parents are already trying that too. Moms are now accepting relationships as a valid concept, dads are offering daaru and grandparents are finally catching up to whatsapp! Again, this is a slow and steady process which might (again, definitely) test your patience, but they’ve taken a few steps, now you take some. This distance will be easily covered. And you might get some cardio done!
Recognize that patience and perseverance is the key:
Eventually this change will happen, we’ll be the ones bringing it. But even then, there will be some ideas and concepts that might fly right over our heads and suddenly we’d be the boring parents. That is pretty much inevitable. My point is, not having differences is not the point at all! Otherwise we’d be just as good as the friend who agrees to everything for free food. The point is to balance the equation between the parent and child for all-round growth of both. Although they will still behave as though it is all because of them but that is because they still are parents and HAVE to be the authoritative figures that they are. Duh!
Recognizing that just like you, they are humans too:
Lastly, trust me, our parents also wish to be more than just parents to us. I can bet they want to be our best friends and put in their maximum effort behind it. But as humans, we crave sympathy. Most from ourselves. So every small fight or argument makes you push all the small, tiny good moments spent with our parents aside and dominantly remember how bad they are. They aren’t bad. See past yourself. See past your own mistakes and see past theirs. See past everything, see past the walls. Be your own superman! Maybe you’ll end up with the coolest parents/best-friends you’ve always wanted. Then go party till 12:30 and get rapped for it.