Time to face the reality. We all have been dumped or ditched by some one or the other. Depending on what phase you are in your life, your reaction to this statement will vary. It also depends on your emotional quotient. But then, it’s part and parcel of life. While we have decided to deal with this subject once and for all, the objective is to get the hidden intention right. Why you may ask? Well this is purely from learning perspective and trying to not suffer a heart break again. *fingers crossed*
Let’s look at the basics first. Humans are the most confused and complicated species of animal on earth. We don’t know what we want, we say something we mean something, we keep wanting more and more, we are afraid yet we don’t try, we love but we fear to commit, the list is long!
It’s a never ending complication. Yet we know (it’s time we accept it as well) that we all need a partner. Whatever stage of life we are in, irrespective of gender or sexual orientation this fact will remain. Some of you may argue that you are happily single, but deep down you do feel emptiness maybe for a while and for prolonged hours during Valentines’ Day 😛 but you do…
Hence, we have decided to venture out in this space of complexity and emotion. Keeping it definitely light-hearted since we all have enough drama in our lives and on TV! Let’s try to understand why things happen and don’t work out and if… if at all we can do something about it and avoid such situations in future.
To start with we are going to find out and understand why do men dump women.
Men reading this article may correct us if we are wrong and difference of opinion is always welcome. Whereas women reading this article may want to reflect back on the relationships that didn’t work out and understand how to play smart in future.
First things first, we need to understand (if possible put up a sticker on your wall) that men are DIFFERENT than us.
Not only in physical aspect but mentally, emotionally, spiritually and so on. So, expecting them to think like you do or express the way you do is never gonna work. Of course one may argue that every human is different but we are talking about 90% similarities and qualities in men here.
So reason no.1
Women are too dependent on men at times. No? Though due to prevalent patriarchy women have been conditioned to look upto men for emotional security, protection and so on. We sometimes forget that men also need their space. Being too cringy or expecting to be pampered like a child can turn out to be too stressful for men. Considering the era that we are in, men appreciate women who are independent and can take a stand for themselves. If you can handle your business well and get your s*** right, your respect will definitely go up. Also, it is necessary to maintain the line where you don’t become too much independent and forget that your guy exists. Having a fine balance works out the best.
Reason no. 2
Are you way too possessive? It is obvious we all want our man for ourselves but we cannot forget that we live in a society where we do have to interact with other human beings for our personal and professional development. It is best to trust your partner and give them liberty to be themselves and with people, they are comfortable with. According to the book, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, men are like rubber bands. The more you pull them, they might stretch but after a point, they will break. If you stretch only a bit they will pull back and come to you in full force with love. So take a break and relax and most importantly trust your partner.
Reason no. 3
You were being his mom. I do understand as women we have a maternal instinct but we must ensure we don’t get into mommy mode with our partner. Especially in the nascent stage of a relationship where you are still judging the waters and you don’t know how the person feels. Being too nagging and bossy and complaining about what he is not doing right and wrong, we must accept him the way he is. Also, they have their mommies to pamper them and correct them. What they expect from you is a partner who will understand him and accept him without judging him unlike all the other people in the world. Point to remember… Role play is good, but don’t play the role of his mom! 😉
Reason no. 4
You can’t move on. If you are too emotional and get stuck to things, there will be a problem. Whether you are stuck in your past relationships or fight with your partner, if you cannot let go, you won’t be able to survive. Bringing in the same conversation and discussions, again and again, will make them be less communicative with you. Mantra to pursue… “Raat gayi baat gayi… aage badho” 😛
Reason no. 5
You listen to your friends too much. Women have plenty of girlfriends and we discuss almost everything with them. We just love to talk. Fair enough. But it is necessary to respect your own privacy and not take in every advice from your female friends on the issues you face in your relationships. It’s best to have a mind of your own, and also talking and discussing issues with your partner will work out best and improve your relationship as well. Mantra to keep in mind..”Suno sabki, Karo khudki”
You don’t listen or pay attention. As women we are expected to be talkative and expressive and gossip mongers. In this conditioning, we forget that men also have needs. Because of their egotistical hormones, they do not express much or talk much. As a woman, it is necessary to create that space for your guy such that he becomes comfortable and would talk to you about anything and everything. Give him a chance to speak and just listen! (this is totally a patience-testing work. Not giving back advice and just listening can be a toll for women so please practice.
Reason no. 7
You are being too unrealistic. Women love to visualize daydream and plan. Sometimes we go too far. We forget that there might be a possibility that the guy is playing out in the field and you must be just a passerby. He might be just growing up or taking a chance. It may or may not work out. If they feel you are not the one they will move on. Hence, it is best to play it slow. Understanding the situation and not being too much emotionally involved in the initial stage always help.
Reason no. 8
You don’t like his friends or they don’t like you. Like women men also have special quota for their friends. They might not discuss every nitty-gritties like us, but yes they do have an opinion. Unlike us, they are not very vocal about it. So if you don’t like his friends it’s best not to make a scene out of it or stop him from being with them. Choosing between women and bros is a very tolling task and no men would want to go through it. The mantra here is “live and let live”.
To end on a good note, we suggest moving on. We respect your emotions and feelings but we feel that if the person doesn’t value you for who you are, he is definitely not worth it. And you deserve so much better in life!
For now, this is all we have here. If you have a different opinion on this issue, share with us. For men who are feeling left out and confused, stay tuned, we are working on reasons why women dump men. Why should girls have all the fun? 😉