Some of us carry a blanket to feel more comfortable when we are far away from home. North Korean leader Kim Jong Un carries a toilet.
According to the South Korean newspaper Chosun Ilbo, Kim arrived in Singapore for a nuclear disarmament summit with U.S. President Donald Trump, and he brought his personal toilet with him.
That’s right, Kim was dropping some bombs at the nuclear summit.
It is said that Kim never leaves home without a personal toilet, and actually travels with several toilets every time he’s on the road, the South Korean news site Daily NK previously reported. The leader’s amenities include an emergency “chamber pot” in his Mercedes, that report said, as well as a designated toilet car in his motorcade. A separate mobile commode designed to handle “mountainous terrain and snow” may also join the leader’s caravan as needed, according to an unnamed source privy to the leader’s privy.
While anyone who has ever taken a road trip can understand avoiding public bathrooms, Kim’s throne away from home is also said to serve a national security benefit. Lee Yun-keol, a former member of a North Korean Guard Command unit, said that “the leader’s excretions contain information about his health status so they can’t be left behind.” As Chosun Ilbo said, the mobile toilets “deny determined sewer divers insights into the supreme leader’s stools.”
In other words, they think people would dive into the sewers to look at Kim Jong Un’s poop.
How many secrets could Kim’s poop actually hold? A lot, it turns out.
The digestive tract contains more bacterial cells than there are cells in the entire body.
A potential problem is soft stool, which could indicate too much oil..
Black stool could indicate bleeding in the stomach or the first part of the small intestine
Constipation could be caused by a number of factors, including a poor diet, lack of exercise, certain medications, lack of fluids or various bowel disorders.
CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT SPIES WOULD DO IF THEY KNEW KIM JONG UN CAN’T POOP PROPERLY?! THIS IS NO JOKE, PEOPLE.
Like a stinky brown fingerprint that contains not only the pooper’s unique DNA, but it can also reveal whether that person’s bowels are absorbing the nutrients they need and rejecting the germs they don’t.
The shade of Kim’s stool could indicate, for example, whether the leader is bleeding internally or taking medication to treat an iron deficiency. Overly narrow stools could indicate a blockage in Kim’s colon, which could be a sign of intestinal cancer. A poor diet or reliance on certain medications could result in constipation, which, if untreated, could lead to hemorrhoids or rectal bleeding. Persistent diarrhea, on the other hand, could be a sign of chronic disease such as irritable bowel syndrome or Crohn’s disease.
Kim, who often relies on images of strength and power to bolster his leadership, would risk the loss of that image if people know he had poo problems.
So in keeping with images of strength and power, I will just leave this here…
Regal and majestic.