Relationships are beautiful, but when one ends that is when it wrecks havoc on the person who had invested the most amount of time and feelings. Personally, I am the kind, who becomes a complete social butterfly after a breakup. Going all out and meeting new people while I keep my mind away from all the thoughts of the once beloved. That being said, the mind still keeps on looking for the good ol’ lover in every man I meet. But, what one actually comes across is an array of men with certain qualities, which just follows a pattern thereafter. I had a breakup. Wasn’t a pretty one! And then I met a bunch of others whose characters made me want to write about it! So here goes the list of all the types of men one meets after a breakup.

The Old Flame

Remember when you were in school and you couldn’t stop crushing on someone? He seemed like the perfect man, just because he was heavily tattooed, looked like a Greek God and had abs of steel. Oh! Did I mention he was into sports and when you are 17, you fall for such stupid things and you know for a fact you never had a chance with him! Let’s rewind! Now you are because puberty hit you at the speed of a bullet train and you have become a lady! The same man asks you out and you go all WTF! On yourself! But the catch is… he is still an asshole! Nothing has changed. Sooo bye bye, hottie!

The Care Bear

This man is smitten by you! Everything you do intrigues him. He is caring and loving, wants you for the person that you are and you adore him too! But! No chemistry. You could be great as siblings or maybe best friends, but any romantic involvement is not in the books. EVER!

The Creep from the DMs

This one has been after your life since forever to meet over a cup of coffee or has asked you out for dinner a million times. But there is something off about this one, the sort of off, which isn’t right. He keeps a track of everything you do or how you roll through every social media platform possible and you just know for a fact that you’ve got to stay away.

The Friend

Have you ever met someone who just understands you in the first meeting itself? Like the sorts, who makes you want to open a part of yourself to him without any fear of being judged. He just wants to know you and share a healthy friendship because c’mon a guy and a girl can be friends! Ladies! Don’t fuck it up and remain friends with him! You hear me? Stay FRIENDS!

The One Too Good To Be True

Well! Some men just seem like they’ve stepped out of a frigging dream! They are too good to be true! Too kind, too well behaved and the perfect gentleman type. A perfect date later they are gone! With no Cinderella’s shoe left behind! Leaving you with a head full of thoughts and a low self-esteem! I mean just man up darling! You are too old to play such games. We don’t chase anyone! And Ladies! DO NOT think there is anything wrong with you! You are gorgeous and you are too good for such sore losers.

The One who wants to get Hitched!

This one will talk about meeting your parents even before a first date. He’ll bring up future plans and the whole having babies thing at the drop of a hat! GURL! Run for your life! He is trying to trap you in the bondage of “Holy Matrimony”. All his future plans already have you in it and you are just going to sit there… CRINGING! He wants you to meet his family and already start loving them like your own! While you are a crazy wild child who just wants to go out on an adventure called Life, sans marriage and a clingy husband!

The One who feels like Magic

This one is the kind you can have 3 am conversations with about life, world and everything that matter to you and to him. He makes you want to explore and see what the world has in store for you. But you know you can’t jinx the bond you share and to keep the Magic intact you keep it to being friends and confidantes to each other. You’ll probably end up going out on the craziest adventures with this one and cherish it for a whole lifetime.

That’s all for now folks! For more cool content checkout DopeWope.

Self proclaimed social media Queen, who thinks the world is her runway. Would work for infinite doggo nose boops and kisses.