We all know that breaking up isn’t easy. The reasons for break up may vary from person to person. However, the emotions don’t. The feeling of losing someone you love for whatever reason can be very difficult. What’s worse? If you have been betrayed by the person you trusted the most it’s even worse. Sometimes things may not work out. People change with time. People fall out of love with time. It is quite natural.
But how do we deal with it? The feeling which shatters every cell in your body. You remember everything about that person. Their smell, their laugh, their touch, their comments, sense of humor, wit, habits, etc. and suddenly that person is no more part of your life. Whether it’s a mutual decision or one sided, we know that there is no going back. Changing times change relationship dynamics.
Till it does, here are some Do’s and Don’ts to be followed which will help you cope up with this phase in life. Remember, its temporary 🙂
The first step towards coping up is accepting what has happened. Yes, you are single again and there is no harm in it. The sooner you accept that the person has moved out of your life the better it will be. I know it’s not easy. However, you can take one step at a time and let things become normal again.
Understand that Time is the best healer:
Absolutely. There is no better medicine than time. Patience is the key here. Like I said earlier, take it slow. Give yourself some time to get out of the turmoil. You might miss that person and feel the emptiness within, but with time you will get used to the absence. This may sound very harsh but it is the fact of life. Humans are made that way.
Talk it out:
You may not feel very comfortable talking to anyone and need some time off alone. However, it’s best to vent it out. Speak up your feelings and thoughts. Do not hold them back. Talking it out to your trustworthy friend or a companion will make you feel lighter from within. If you feel you need more time, write it down. Expressing your feelings on a paper will help you accept the situation and move on in life.
Do what you love. Or indulge yourself in some new hobby or pastime. The idea is to divert the mind from the mess and make yourself busy into something new. We often have unaccomplished dreams or wanted to try something but never could. Well, this is your chance. Just go ahead and find your calling.
To be happy one must realize what he/she has in their life. Being grateful for what you have will only make you realise the the good things in life surrounding you despite the pain of loss. Having good vibes brings in positivity in your life and will radically improve the situation around you. We often don’t realize what all we have till the time we see lesser fortunate people than us. Keep your mind open and be grateful, God has been kind.
Spend time with people who care:
When we get into a relationship we often sideline other important people. Well again this is your chance to reconnect with people who actually care for you. They may be your family members, your friends, your colleagues, etc. Meet them, talk to them about random things in life, travel to new places with them. This will make you realize that there are people who genuinely care about you and love you for what you are.
Do good to others:
Kindness always pays. Doing good to others will make you feel good. You will be happy when you see someone smile because of you. It could be anyone. Someone you know who needs help or a stranger or even a dog! Being there for someone in need is the best thing that can happen to anyone. Go on, spread some joy 🙂
Acknowledge and learn:
The ultimate thing to do is to acknowledge that yes this happened. Whether it was your mistake or not. Whether you failed to judge a person or were too naive to believe the falsity, it did happen. And this could happen with anyone. But addressing the issue is very important. One must also learn from their mistakes and their past. So that similar people do not dupe you again. In the end, it’s best to move on with your head held high!
While we are at it, there are certain “don’ts” which one must keep in mind.
Rush into new relationship:
Moving out of a relationship is always difficult. We are so used to someone’s presence that we just cannot accept their absence in our life. One of the most common mistake that people do is rush into a new relationship after they break up with someone. It’s like a rebound. Either you want to satisfy your ego or take a revenge or show the world that you are in demand. But this could only lead to more toxicity in your life. Instead take a break and give yourself some time to get over this. Meet new people, interact but avoid getting into a relationship till you have moved on from the past.
Over exert yourself:
Often people mistake indulgence for over exertion. While your mind maybe in turmoil you need to ensure your body gets proper rest. Over exertion into things like exercise, diet, etc. will make you feel more depressed and physically weak. Rather you must relax and meditate so that you feel better with time.
Another common mistake. People don’t want to let go. Guess it feels good to feel sad, if you know what I mean 😉 But yes over-mourning over someone is not going to help. It certainly won’t bring back that person into your life. People love to be with people who look happy and are smiling. So get over the rona-dhona and start smiling. It’s not going to be the end of your life. You must remember that if life closes one door, it opens many others. Just be patient and watch.
Social media gaga:
Oh yes! The famous social media strikes. Showering your feeling over social media channels is totally uncool. While people may like or react on your sad statuses and posts, let’s just accept it they don’t really care what you are going through. Often people make fun of those who are too active and vocal on social media. Avoid being a laughing stock of the town. Maintaining a low profile about your relationship from the start always help.
Stalk your Ex:
Now that they are not part of your life you cringe to know what they are doing, who they are meeting, where they are going, what they are eating, etc. STOP IT. It is very important to handle such situations maturely. Get over them and avoid peeping into anything they are doing. It’s none of your business anymore, accept it!
Talk shit about Ex:
Bad mouthing anyone or disclosing the dirt in the public will harm your reputation more than theirs. Whatever happened, it happened between the two of you. It’s best to maintain privacy and especially not talk ill about anyone. If you have ever loved someone truly, that would be the last thing you should be doing. Do not let yourself stoop so low for anyone.
Get into abuse:
We do not live in the world of Devdas so becoming one is totally unacceptable. Often people resort to alcohol and drugs. Well this is not going to sort your problem. It’s more like running away from it’s definitely a sign of weakness. Why should one harm their body, mind and soul for someone who doesn’t care anymore? There are many others who would care for you and love you. Those people definitely don’t deserve seeing you becoming a Devdas or a DevD of any sorts.
Last but not the least, stop faking it. Everyone is different. Each person may take time to get over someone. That does not mean you are a weak person. It just means that you are different and have every right to do so. One can be fake to the world, but the mirror does not lie. Hence, just be what you are and it will all be fine soon.
Break ups often feel like the end of the world. But time has been a proof that people become fine eventually. It’s not the end. You will meet new people and fall in love again. Plus you never know, love may come back knocking on your door again very soon. Till then be happy and be grateful for what you have and what you are!
Remember, no one can take away your shine, after all, you are one of a kind 😉
Salute to the survivors! Cheers!